Lesson 4 - Getting Water Together

0:00 - [Jelica] Getting water together.
0:04 Let's walk into the kitchen to the refrigerator and get a drink of water.
0:08 I don't know about you, but I'm thirsty.
0:10 So let's walk together to the water dispenser, okay?
0:15 This is the premise of the scenario you are about to watch.
0:18 But first, I'd like to take a moment to explain the foundation of this activity.
0:23 If I were to leave the child to go get water and bring it back to them, we would not be engaged in co-presence.
0:28 The child would have no idea where or how I got the water.
0:32 When this happens over time, they internalize a feeling that others need to do things for them.
0:37 What they really need is to learn where and how to get and do things for themselves.
0:42 As we get water together, the child learns how to go into the kitchen and get water themselves
because they have learned to do so while in co-presence.
0:49 They will recognize which lever to press through tactile recognition, having touched it when we got water together.
0:54 Every step of the way, as we walk, get cups, go to the refrigerator, touch the water dispenser,
the child feels what you're doing and learns to do the same.
1:03 Not by watching you, but by feeling with you.
1:06 This is the tactile route to learning.
1:08 Learning occurs through these cohesive, tactile experiences, not through fragmented visual demonstrations or auditory explanations, where they find many missing pieces.
1:17 Incorporating light, tactile aspects here and there doesn't work either.
1:20 What works is staying connected in co-presence, going through tactile experiences together.
1:26 So are you ready to get a drink? Let's go.
1:49 Tip number one.
1:51 Teaching your child to always have a towel on their shoulder while in the kitchen will make it easy to clean up accidental spills quickly.
2:11 Tip number two.
2:12 Give your child the option to choose their own cup.
2:14 Give them time to touch each of the cups before making their decision.
2:52 Tip number three.
2:53 As your child is learning a new skill, engage with them in the process.
2:57 This is co-presence and allows you to give positive reinforcement and constructive feedback while they are learning.
3:21 Number four.
3:22 Teach your child to gauge how full the cup is by placing their finger inside the top of the cup and bending that finger at the middle knuckle.
3:28 When they feel the liquid touch their fingertip, they know to stop filling the cup.
3:31 No need to rely on vision for this information.
4:23 Tip number five.
4:24 Repeat this activity and allow your child to feel you filling your cup with water.
4:28 Encourage them to stay in co-presence with you and help you check the level of your water too.
4:33 Give them positive feedback for supporting you in this activity.
5:00 Example number two, co-presence.
5:03 Child-led discovery, parent support and affirmation.
5:14 Tip number six.
5:15 After working with your child on a new skill, allow them to demonstrate their progress while you provide encouragement or supportive feedback on their progress.
5:27 As the child attempts this activity on their own, feedback can be provided on their back or their arm.
6:20 Tip number seven.
6:22 When a spill occurs or an accident happens, try not to react and take charge of the situation.
6:27 Stay in co-presence with your child and affirm that it's okay and that you're dealing with the situation together.
6:31 Be sure to provide positive reinforcement during the process.
6:35 Let's watch that again.
6:37 Notice there's no rush to intervene, clean up, or takeover.
6:43 Remaining in co-presence, you can model how to clean up the spill while also reassuring your child that accidents happen and it's okay.
6:53 Tip number eight.
6:54 It's important to hold your child accountable for cleaning up their spill or mess.
6:58 Remain with them in co-presence and provide positive reinforcement and constructive feedback as they clean up.
7:02 Equally as important is to share your emotional response with your child.
7:06 Let them know you're not angry, and that you're there to help support them.
7:12 Notice how they remain in co-presence the entire time as they clean up the spill.
7:26 Find opportunities to provide positive feedback and affirmation for a job well done.
7:30 This can be on the back, the arm, or the leg.
7:37 If they miss a spot and you need to step in to help, ensure the child stays with you in co-presence
so they can feel what it is that you're doing.
7:50 Positive feedback and praise is so important as the child takes responsibility for their accident or spill.
7:59 Notice how they remain in co-presence during the entire experience.
8:04 This is an important opportunity for your child to learn what to do when an accident happens.
8:20 Reflections on this experience.
8:23 Let's review the key units of learning from this activity.
8:26 In order to get a drink of water, we first felt the wall, the cupboard, and then finally the refrigerator.
8:33 During this activity, you didn't sit alone in the other room, but rather you stayed with me in co-presence each step of the way.
8:40 We walked together, experienced our environment together, and when we got to the refrigerator,
we took turns feeling one another fill our cups with water.
8:52 Now, let's explore the alternative scenario.
8:54 If had not been involved and co-present, you would have been left sitting where you were,
waiting for me to come back and hand you a cup of water.
9:01 This teaches a child that they need to depend on others and perpetuates their dependency
on interpreters and interveners.
9:08 The children have learned through countless daily activities that they can't live independently
because they need others to do things for them.
9:15 But DeafBlind people don't like others doing things for us.
9:18 We like to participate and contribute.
9:21 We are capable, and kids feel especially proud of their accomplishments.
9:25 Parents uphold their child by joining them in co-presence and teaching by example.
9:29 When children don't experience co-presence, they miss out on sharing reciprocal life experiences
with others, which makes learning very difficult.
9:36 How can a child learn something if they've never experienced it with someone else?
9:43 For example, if we walked into the kitchen together and you sat at the table while I filled the cup with water, you would know we were in the kitchen but would miss out on learning how and where to get the water.
9:52 Instead, what you learned is that you need to sit and wait at the table for someone else to give it to you.
9:57 This knowledge is transferred so that soon you are not only sitting and waiting for someone to bring your cup of water, but you're also waiting for someone to bring your food when you're hungry
or bring you to the bathroom when you need to go.
10:09 This is the result of a breakdown in co-presence.
10:13 Instead we can build a relational foundation with children in co-presence, which nurtures their growth and development and fosters their autonomy and self-sufficiency.
10:24 This process starts at birth in human co-presence and continues as the child grows
and gains social experiences with you.
10:35 Children internalize what they learn through exposure to the world around them and experiences shared in co-presence.
10:45 Without these opportunities, how can a child learn about all that life offers?
10:50 Left out of the flow of life, a child's learning progress is slowed, making language acquisition very difficult.
10:59 When this happens, children end up sequestered with interpreters, and parents are at a loss for how to communicate with their own children.